Imagine you have an internal compass inside you. It doesn't shout at you but quietly suggests: "Hey, this is the right way." This set of rules is that compass. Let's break it down into simple situations.
1. About jokes (so as not to be the clown who offends everyone)
Main rule: Joke in a way that doesn't make the person feel sad, ashamed, or offended after your joke. Their dignity is inviolable.
How NOT to:
"Oh, did you style your hair like 'rotten noodles' today?" (This is a blow to appearance, making the person feel ashamed).
Joking about nationality, illnesses, failures. It's just mean.
How TO:
Joke about the situation, not the person. Everyone got caught in the rain? "Great, free wash for everyone! Who's got shampoo?"
Best of all - joke about yourself. It immediately eases tension.
Example: You were late for a meeting. Instead of grimly apologizing, you can say: "My bad, my internal compass malfunctioned and led me to the bakery. But I brought you some too!" And you show the pastries. Everyone laughs, tension is relieved.
If you're not sure the joke will be appropriate - it's better to stay silent. Silence is better than a toxic joke.
2. About conversations at work (to avoid quarrels and get things done)
Here are two super life hacks.
Life hack #1: Understand first, then speak.
Your colleague suggests some, in your opinion, crazy idea.
Usual reaction: "What nonsense? This will never work!" → an argument starts.
Correct reaction (by principles):
First, ask to understand: "So you're suggesting doing it like this... (briefly retell their idea in your own words). Did I get it right?"
They confirm: "Yes, exactly!"
And only then gently express your opinion: "I understood your idea, thank you! Look, what if we consider this risk... How can we avoid it?"
This way, you show that you heard the person, not just ready to shout them down. After that, any argument becomes productive.
Life hack #2: Talk about yourself, not blame.
A colleague let you down, didn't do their part of the work.
Usual reaction: "You messed it up again! Because of you, everything suffers!" → they defend themselves, you quarrel.
Correct reaction (speak from yourself):
Fact (without emotions): "Hi. I see your part of the project is not ready yet, and the deadline is tomorrow."
Your feeling: "I'm very worried..."
Reason (need): "...because I will need to answer to the boss/client, and I don't know what to say."
Request: "Let's think together about how we can finish everything faster now? Maybe I can help you?"
This approach doesn't blame but suggests solving the problem together. You become allies against a common problem instead of opponents.
3. About behavior in society (in the store, on the street, online)
Truth is not a hammer. Don't hit people over the head with the truth. Your aunt got a cringe-worthy haircut? She knows it herself. Better stay silent or find something good ("The color is great!"). You only lied when you lied for your own benefit. Staying silent to avoid hurting is not a lie, it's compassion.
Online - the same rules apply. You wouldn't shout at a stranger on the street, would you? So don't do it in the comments either. Online = offline.
If in doubt - check. Saw a shocking news. Your internal compass says: "Stop!". Don't like or forward immediately. Open a couple more sources, check. If you made a mistake and already shared - just write: "Guys, I was wrong, it's fake. Sorry." That's cool and mature.
Help if you see someone weaker. Someone fell, an elderly person can't carry a heavy bag, a child is being bullied. Your duty is not to pass by. First, ask: "Do you need help?". Sometimes help is just being there and supporting with a word.
In short, the essence of these rules:
Treat people the way you want to be treated. But not just as "people," but each specific person, with their dignity, weaknesses, and right to make mistakes.
Be a little kinder, a slightly more attentive listener, and don't be afraid to admit your mistakes. This is living by these principles. Not perfectly, but just humanly.
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